As we approach the New Year, I feel called to pause, reflect, and honor my grief. It’s not easy to carry loss during a time when celebration and joy are expected. Yet grief is complex and deeply human, and it doesn’t adhere to a calendar. For many of us, the holidays can amplify feelings of longing, sorrow, and even confusion as we navigate the tension between personal pain and communal joy.
I wanted to write ahead of our scheduled blog posts, not only to honor my own experience with grief, but to connect with others who may be feeling something similar. If you’re grieving this holiday season, I see you. You’re not alone.
The Complexity of Grieving During Joyful Seasons
The holidays, for me, have often accompanied happiness and togetherness, which can make grief feel even heavier. For some, I've seen, the loss is fresh, and the absence of a loved one is string felt. For others, grief might feel harder to name—a subtle, but present, feeling that doesn’t fit neatly into words. And even within community, people experience grief very differently. I’ve found myself sitting with fears of triggering others who may also be grieving but aren’t ready to name their pain. I've felt alone amongst the love of others and angered by the way things are or aren't. Then also remind myself that each person is allowed to process and grieve as their capacity allows. Please have grace for us all.
There’s discomfort in holding space for both joy and sorrow, but I’m reminding myself that it’s okay to let these emotions coexist. It’s okay to laugh and cry in the same breath. It’s okay to honor your loss while still leaning into moments of connection, celebration and even new life.
Finding Connection in Grief
As I’ve been navigating my own grief, I’ve leaned into the support of my folx and my spiritual connection to the person I’ve lost. For me, this has meant holding space for ancestral connection, not just to the person I've recently lost, but to others who are no longer physically with me. I take quiet moments of reflection where I allow my emotions to flow and give gratitude for sharing time on this earth with the person I've lost. I sit with the warmth of shared memories, look at pictures, and remember our last words together. Grief is not a linear process, and there’s no right or wrong way to experience it. This is not the time to be strong. Because what does that mean anyway? Not to feel your emotions? To pretend you don't have any? To ignore the realities of what we are humanly experiencing? What matters is finding ways to connect—with yourself, with your loved ones, and with the intangible threads that tie us to those we’ve lost. It's okay to have feelings. We were created to feel. But what if you've never been taught to feel? What happens when you feel shame about feeling? What happens when it isn't apparent that the people around you are actually feeling too? What do you do with these FEEEEEELINGS?!
Five Ways to Navigate Grief During the Holidays and Beyond
If you’re grieving this season, here are five tips to navigate the emotions:
Allow Your Emotions to Exist Without Judgment
Joy, sadness, anger, and gratitude can all exist simultaneously. Give yourself permission to feel whatever arises without labeling it as “good” or “bad.” Let go of pretending you dont have any emotions, and honor yourself and your grief by allowing them to exist as they come.
Honor Your Loved One in a Way That Feels Meaningful
Light a candle, share a favorite memory, or create a small ritual to keep their presence close. This can be a comforting way to acknowledge their impact on your life. Look at, or put up pictures, participate in a ceremony, share your love for the person.
Lean Into Community When You Can
If being around loved ones feels supportive, embrace it. Share stories, laughter, and even tears. Connection can be a balm for the soul.
Listen to Your Body - Take Care of it
Some days, you may feel energized and ready to engage. Other days, you might need rest and stillness. Honor what your body is telling you without guilt. Grief takes a toll on your energy, your mood, your nervous system. Even though it can be hard, incorporate gentle movement, rest, and nourishing meals.
Seek the Sacred in Small Moments
Whether through prayer, meditation, or simply sitting in silence, find ways to connect with the intangible. Let yourself feel held by something larger than yourself. If you have a spiritual practice that connects you to them, here is where you can embrace it.
These practices, and this post altogether, apply to all experiences of grief, not just grief involving a family, friend or community member.
Sending You Love and Connection
To everyone grieving during the time of reading this: You are not alone. It’s okay to carry your grief with you, even in moments of joy. It’s okay to rest when you need to and to reach out for connection when you’re ready. I’m sending love to you all and wishing you moments of comfort and connection, both physically and spiritually. May you find ways to honor your grief while also allowing joy to gently find its place in your heart.
I'll follow up in the New Year with more on navigating the stages of grief for those who might need it. Take Care.
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