Over the past few months, I’ve noticed something emerging in my sessions with clients—a recurring theme of isolation and disconnection. And it’s not just coming from those who live alone or grapple with social anxiety. Even people with families and active social lives are expressing a feeling of emptiness. As I dug deeper, it became clear that many of us are missing what’s known as a third space.
Third spaces are environments outside of work and home where we consistently or routinely connect with others and find a sense of belonging. This concept really hit home during a session with someone who had recently relocated for a new job. Even though they were having a good work-life balance and friendly colleagues, they felt like something was missing. Their life was consumed by work and home, and they lacked a space just for themselves to relax, socialize, or explore their interests with consistency. This imbalance was affecting their mental health and relationships. And this is no isolated experience. Many people are sharing their thoughts and feelings about missing connection and the desire to find meaning and purpose outside of professional and family spaces.
What Exactly Are Third Spaces?
Here are a few examples of third spaces, some traditional, and come others a bit more creative. Remember, there are many more that what I name here.
Local coffee shops or cafes: These are classic third spaces where you can work on a personal project, read a book, or strike up a conversation with others.
Weekly friend gatherings: Meeting weekly at a friend’s house for movie nights, dinners, or game nights creates an intimate third space where you can enjoy downtime and connection.
Community centers: Many people I've talked to have found community centers or libraries to be ideal third spaces, offering a calm environment to study, meet new people, or engage in creative activities .
Fitness groups, gyms, studios, or sports clubs: Someone else shared that she found her third space in a running group, where the shared activity fostered both physical, mental and social well-being. Others find third space in cycling studios, yoga facilities, or fitness classes.
Online spaces: Virtual third spaces are becoming increasingly important and common. Regular Zoom hangouts, Discord or Twitch communities, or even online gaming groups can provide a sense of connection. For some of my introverted clients, these spaces can feel safer and less overwhelming than in person social environments. These spaces accommodate people who prefer not to connect in person (for various reasons), meeting them where they are.
Faith-based and spiritual gatherings: Churches, mosques, temples, and other communal spaces serve as spiritual third spaces for many people. Someone I've worked with told me that her weekly Bible study group was one of the few places she felt she could share her thoughts without judgment, and receive support that aligned with her spiritual values and beliefs.
Pop-up events: Others have found unique third spaces in rotating activities, like farmer’s markets or weekend pop-up food festivals, where the sense of community is present even without deep social interaction. While these opportunities may not always be as consistent as we'd hope third places to be, they still provide a reliable sense of community and connection, allowing individuals to be present among others without the pressure of constant one-on-one social interaction.
How Third Spaces can Support you Mental Health and Well-being.
1. Fostering Social Interaction and Connection
Third spaces provide opportunities to connect with people beyond your immediate circle. One person told me that joining a biweekly drum circle had changed her life because it gave her a chance to socialize outside of work or home and do something she found relaxing and enjoyable. This kind of space relieves the pressure of being “on” all the time and allows for more organic socializing.
For others, it’s not about meeting new people but maintaining relationships with those they already know. Gathering with friends for a casual hangout at someone’s place can serve as a third space where there’s no agenda, just connection. This can look like weekly potluck dinners with a small group of friends, or monthly hikes with other people you know.
2. Supporting Mental Health and Well-Being
Third spaces play a critical role in our mental health. These neutral areas can reduce stress, provide a sense of balance, and offer a place for relaxation. I’ve talked with folx who realized they were missing a third space and saw dramatic improvements in their mental health once they found one. One person joined a local meditation group that met weekly, and over time, they found that the simple act of showing up and breathing deeply in a communal space helped alleviate their anxiety.
3. Promoting Inclusivity and Belonging
For groups and communities that have been historically excluded or discriminated against third spaces can be even more essential. I’ve worked with several people who found a strong sense of belonging in third spaces designed specifically for their group. This can foster a sense of solidarity, safety, communal care and authenticity. Examples include a Black-owned bookstore, an Queer co-working space or a Polynesian cultural center. The hope being that these places provide safe environments where individuals can feel seen and heard without needing to explain their existence or code-switch to belong.
4. Encouraging Personal Growth and Exploration
Third spaces provide more than just social connection, they also offer opportunities for self-exploration and personal growth. For example, attending a weekly open mic event or regularly visiting a community center can spark creativity, helping someone rediscover hobbies or passions they haven't engaged in for years. The environment itself, filled with diverse people and activities, can offer inspiration and a sense of belonging, even if one doesn't actively participate. The act of being present in these spaces can encourage new perspectives and personal breakthroughs, fostering growth in unexpected ways.
5. Offering Relief from the Pressures of Work and Home
Let’s be honest: both work and even home can be overwhelming. Third spaces are essential because they give us somewhere to go where the only expectation is to be present. Whether it’s a casual walk with friends, a local bar, a wellness spot or a late-night Discord chat with online friends, third spaces allow you a balanced way to unplug from the demands of daily life.
Therapy can help you find your third space.
Through therapy, many folx have come to realize the importance of finding or creating third spaces in their lives. Therapy can help you identify the missing pieces, whether it’s a lack of connection, purpose, or relaxation. For those struggling with social anxiety or feelings of loneliness, therapy can provide coping strategies to help you step into third spaces with confidence. For others, therapy might help you understand what’s been holding you back from creating these essential environments.
Ultimately, third spaces are about finding balance, allowing yourself room to connect, grow, and simply exist outside of your roles at work or home. A true third space isn’t just any location outside of home and work—it’s a place that offers consistent engagement, purpose, and practice. What sets a third space apart is its accessibility and the intention behind visiting it regularly. The idea is not about simply occupying a different environment but about finding a space that you can return to repeatedly, where meaningful interactions, routines, or practices can take place. This consistency is what makes the space valuable for your well-being. The key lies in building a reliable rhythm.
Third spaces are often spaces of intention, where the act of returning again and again adds value, whether it’s for social interaction, creative expression, or simply finding peace. When these spaces are accessible, both physically and emotionally, they become anchors in your routine, offering stability and something to look forward to.
Reflect: DO YOU HAVE A THIRD SPACE?
Contact The Connection Clinic to work with a therapist who can help you identify your values and use them to find or create a third space that supports your mental health and wellness journey.
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